Summer is passing and with it, all that I had hoped to do but can't; I must enjoy what I can

Sunday will mark one month since I underwent my first surgery, the planned one, the one when the doctor removed my right colon and the offending flat polyp that against medical expectations proved to be cancer free, but which they tell me would have eventually turned to cancer. I wanted to make a few observations on the one month mark, but I do not plan to post at all this weekend so I will make those observations now. Or at least those which come to mind. I have many, but I couldn't sleep last night, I feel a little strange in my head and so I have a feeling most of those observations will now elude me.

Before my original surgery, I asked Dr. O'Malley how long I could expect to be laid up and how long before I could venture back into the field to do some work - meaning the Arctic Slope, where the activities I would be involved in tend to be a little more rugged than those in most places. He said I could expect to be laid up for a week-and-a-half to two weeks and strong enough to go back into the field within three to four weeks.

Perhaps this would have proven true, had complications not arose, had I not had to undergo a second, emergency surgery, had I not subsequently been hospitalized for a third time with the abscesses now being treated with antibiotics. I am optimistic the antibiotcs will work but if they don't, then next week I will likely be back in the hospital for that third surgery.

So I went into the hospital hopeful that even before July ended, I could be back in the field, working. I hoped to be there when Shell Oil arrived with their big offshore drilling rig and to get some pictures as they planted it in the Chukchi Sea, and to photograph and talk to a good number of Iñupiat to see what they think about it.

Readers who were with me on my original Wasilla blog will recall that two falls ago I journied to Cross Island near Prudhoe Bay to join the whalers from Nuiqsut on their fall bowhead hunt, but the season started early and happened fast and by the time I got there they had landed the last whale of the season. It was a good trip and I got some good pictures but I wanted to go back to get the full cycle. Shortly before I went into the hospital, the whaling captain who had invited me to the island before invited me to come back again.

I told him I would - barring any complications from this surgery.

Well, the Shell rigs and Shell itself have encountered a few problems and are running weeks behind schedule, but it is very clear to me that I am not going to be there to document this big moment in the history of Arctic Alaska. Depending on weather and ice, the hunters from Nuiqsuit are likely to leave in about one month, but given my current state, I think it most unlikely that I will be healed enough to join them in that rigorous life.

I came out of my surgery with a nicely-stapled up incision that looked like it would heal pretty quickly. Then, while I was still in the hospital, it got infected, the doctor removed a bunch of staples, leaving me with a hole in my belly that had to be packed and dressed every day. Then I coughed, dehisched, blew out a big hole in my tummy wall, underwent the second surgery, came out with everything stapled back together again but with a couple of drains in me to allow the fluids to escape, then five of those staples came out, leaving another big hole and then I went to the emergency room, the abscesses were found, the opening wound was partially sewn back together but not totally as that would have been too dangerous and could have trapped more infection and I was put on the antibiotics.

As of yesterday, perhaps because I got to eat solid food again, I began to feel much stronger, significantly better than I had felt at any moment since the second surgery - but, if you could see the hole that is still in my belly and if you are a normal person, you would be horrified.

Margie is horrified every time she changes my dressing. I have thought about posting a pic, but I don't think it would be a good idea as it would gross out too many readers.

It must be healing, slowly, but looking at it day to day I can see no change it, nor can Margie - except the some of the staples appear to be getting stretched close to their limit, which would make the hole bigger. I just hope this doesn't happen before Monday when I see the doctor again, because I do not want to have to go to the emergency room again.  

While I have not given up all hope all together, it is hard for me to imagine what I see now healing by the time the Nuiqsut whalers head for Cross Island.

But maybe.

There were other things I hoped I would heal quick enough to do, too, not only up there but down here, too. I wanted to camp, to canoe, to hike, to catch a fish. I wanted to get back on my bike.

Again, I have not altogether given up hope, but it certainly does not seem likely. Last night, Jacob, Lavina, Kalib and Jobe came out to pick up Lynxton. I did manage to stand on the back porch and shoot this picture with my iPhone.

Earlier in this very warm and pleasant day, I had gone out into the back yard just to sit and marvel at how wonderful the sun felt, how clear and blue the sky was, how green the leaves and how far up the stem the fireweed blossoms had bloomed. It is common knowledge here that when they bloom at the top, summer is over.

That top bloom is coming soon.

Of course, right now I have no money to travel anyway. No use to sulk and feel sorry. I enjoyed that sun yesterday. I enjoyed seeing my grandsons frolic in the back yard with their dad. I shot only these two iPhone frames, whereas if I could handle my real camera and move quickly about I would have shot a bunch.

Still, it was good.

Well, most of those observations will remain unwritten, unremembered, but what does it matter, anyway?

Also, I am very much aware that these pictures I am taking would technically look much better if I were using a "real" camera and not an iPhone, but I can't handle my big camera, a friend gave me a small camera that I can handle, but most of the time (although not today) I have been posting to this blog direct from my iPhone and the only way to do so is to use the iPhone camera. Even though there are many blurred and hazy pictures a certain look has been established and I think I should just keep that look going until this process is behind me and documented.

Come Monday, I hope to finally put up the post I had planned to put up this past Monday, the post about this place, 800 Sarah's Way, Wasilla, Alaska, where we have lived for 30 years but now face a huge challenge if we are to continue living here.

Comments

[Jersey Babs]

Perhaps the strange feeling in your head, was all the good thoughts we your readers are sending your way! A little traffic jam of healing energies! Thinking and sending good thoughts that your healing continues on a sure path. Forward, forward, forward. Step by step till you are hopping and skipping for joy; and hitting the trails once again.

[Pat in MA]

There will be time again for the things you may miss doing this summer, time that you might not have had... Wishing you continued healing and no more surgeries!

[Mhurka]

I underwent a similar horrific "complications" situation 9 years ago after my appendix burst and developed life threatening infections. I had to go back to the hospital following surgery and discharge because my infection resurfaced. The doctor, at first, wanted to operate again but then reconsidered after calling in a specialist. The specialist decided to deal with the recalcitrant infection with several syringes that were jabbed into my abdomen to drain it. Following that I was given a different very powerful antibiotic at a high dose (1000mg of Cipro if I recall correctly). That seemed to do the trick finally. I hope this information may be of some use. Good luck!